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Friday, December 11, 2009

The People Hypothesis: Social Deficiencies

The Hypothesis: People who are uncomfortable in their own skin are usually socially deficient in some way, shape, or form.

"The People Hypothesis" is a self-indulgence project which you as a reader might perhaps be interested in, or not. Its purpose is as a reflection upon people as they interact, in contrast to the other blogs on this site, whose focus is on what motivates people to interact. The first reflection of this sort I chose to be on social deficiency because of some interesting events that have been happening lately.

Despite what you all may be thinking I am not referring to the Tiger Woods situation. Nor do I mean anyone in the spotlight. I mean to keep this as localized as possible.

If you ask people what it means to be socially deficient, they might tell you that it has to do with not being able to talk to people. While this may be a common problem, it isn't the root of it. In the same way an iron deficiency isn't the inability to react to and interact with iron, social deficiency isn't a problem of not interacting with society. Deficiencies are a matter of process; there is something missing in a person that is preventing them from interacting properly. The hypothesis is that this missing link is caused by an insecurity of some sort that seems to make it the case that a person can't, for example, treat others as human beings.

Just as an anecdote, this story is something which has been happening for a while lately. I have this friend, let's call her Jenny. Jenny has had a significant role to play in a student-run organization at my school over the past few years. Over the summer though, Jenny decided she wanted to leave this group and focus on school. Her reasons for doing so would be the typical need to set her priorities straight, something that no one could disagree with, and the desire to get away from peer pressure from the group's president, Jake. Jenny's girlfriend at the time, Emma, was also a part of the reason for her quitting, as she supported Jenny's decision, emphasizing her need to focus on school work. It wasn't until recently that it became evident that her real problem was with a girl named Corinne. Even though Jenny and Jake used to be really good friends, they aren't anymore since Jenny has understood it to be that Emma was swaying Jake and turning him against Jenny.

The purpose behind the story is this: Emma is an example of a study sample for this hypothesis. Given the following character sketch of Emma, perhaps we might try and figure out where she fits in to Jenny's motivation for quitting.

Emma's story begins before Jenny and Jake ever meet her. Emma is already acquainted with Corinne via grade school.
Emma has been pointed to as the motivation for Jenny's quitting, her personality is such that she will deny having done anything, or having any motive that might lead her to do so.
According to several accounts, Emma has been promiscuous and sexually active in the past; this story is relayed directly from her mouth through other people (one of these sources being of the first degree). In these accounts, she had a sexual encounter with a guy that another girl had feelings for, and may or may not have cuckolded her.
Her reasons for disliking Jenny are unclear, but she has admittedly shown different sides of herself to different people, I included; these stories don't add up, and it is highly suspect that Emma has yet to tell anyone the complete story.

Analysis: Emma's social deficiency is a combination of being incapable of having a positive relationship with anyone who wants to try to have a positive relationship with her, and the uncanny ability to destroy other people's relationship with those people who are trying to have a positive relationship with her. Confused yet? Essentially, Jenny wanted to try to be friends with Emma at the beginning, but Emma didn't like Jenny because of it. This resulted in Emma trying to force people to turn against Jenny.

The result of this animosity is that people are now divided, and don't know how to pick a side. It really shouldn't be that hard; you try not to pick sides. But when it comes down to it, the side people had to pick was the one that was hurting them less. So what does this have to do with Emma's insecurities?

Emma is supposedly trying to convince people that she's the one that is ethical and sane, by convincing people that Jenny is crazy and/or talks too much. From this, one might figure that Emma is insecure because Jenny is secure, so the only way Emma can compensate is by destroying Jenny's reputation. The consequence is her social deficiency. Hence, Emma is an insecure person whose insecurity causes her to act in socially deficient ways.

Hypothesis: Plausible. Q.E.D.

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